sevenchicks

my 25.

by sassychick ~ I secretly love these.  Because I love lists.  And I get it’s not a secret.

1.  “Up in the Gym, workin on my FITNESS” is the worst lyric I’ve ever heard.  And that TOTALLY trumps the bedrock lyric, which I LIKE.  Probably because I picture the Flintstone family rollin over in their animated grave when they used their beloved character in a song such as that.
2. I hate doing homework with my children and I’m not even sure hate is a strong enough word for it.  I think people assume you got some sort of automatic mom gene that like makes you love your kid not matter what, makes you throw yourself in front of a bus to protect them and that same gene makes you want to patiently work on homework with them.  I got everything but the HOMEWORK part.  
3. I dislike baseball until it become competitive.  I hate that I have to fain excitement in Lane’s game.  I’m only excited when he hits.  The rest is torture. 
4. Right now my house is clean.  It’s clean because I’ve had two parties this past weekend and another scheduled Saturday.  I often schedule parties as an excuse to clean the house.  Then I kill myself all week and act like it only took me a few minutes to straighten up.
5. I recently lied to a Vietnamese woman who was doing my nails.  After a crazy redneck woman came in the store and the nail lady started to say something to me and stopped long enough to say, “Are you from here?”  I said no.  She said, “These people are insane around here.”  I smiled empathetically and responded.  “Girl, don’t I know.”
6. I also confirmed a long held belief about the Vietnamese people who do my nails.  They do talk about you routinely in Vietnamese when you’re getting your nails done.  And it’s often about how much money they think you have.
7. They also tell you in will only be 15 minutes until they start on your nails.  Whether it will be 15 minutes or 2 hours. 
8. I recently learned a dolphin is just a gay shark. (hate mail to [email protected])
9. As a follow up to #8, Glee is my new favorite show.
10. I have recently learned that people constantly criticize those around them are generally taking the feelings they have for themselves and projecting them on others.  And you can’t fix people.  They can only fix themselves.  Took me 30ISH years to learn that.
11. I just sent a flower delivery lady away because I didn’t know we had a new employee by the name she gave me.  And it was a dozen roses.  For that employee’s birthday.
12. Someone recently asked me if they could bring a drink in my car.  I doubled over laughing and said, “Listen, we eat more meals in this car than we do at home.”
13. I want to win the lottery without having to purchase tickets.  I’m cheap.
14. I was secretly excited when it was crap weather for spring breakers.  If I don’t get one, no one should.
15. My SECOND reaction (after elation) upon learning my best friends are pregnant is HECK YEAH; I’ll be skinnier than her in 9 months.
16. There’s a weird phenomenon at the beach.  If you are in the water people can hear you talking about them when they are WAY up on the beach laying out.  It’s insane.  I have witnesses.
17. I also cannot get enough of Biggest Loser only because I like to know there are people WAY fatter than me. 
18. I do not like Victoria Secret commercials because it reminds my husband that there are people WAY hotter than me.
19. I was recently at a baseball game and a car full of teens were listening to loud rap music.  There was some cussing in the music and I was walking with Lane.  As I turned to reprimand them one yelled, “Hey number 22!  (I had my SONS number on my shirt)  Sure do wish you weren’t married.”  To which I respond, “Sure wish I wasn’t old enough to be your mom, turn the music down.” 
20. I need to exercise.  I have no plans of starting.
21. I’m no longer celebrating birthday “numbers”.  Only birthDAYS.   And mine is June 2nd and I’m still SUPER young.
22. I am currently juggling 4 baseball games a week and baseball tournaments on Saturdays and I’m still not sure if you call the guys in blue umpires or referees, but I never get tired of seeing the boys in their uniforms.
23. Hey Bossy, if you didn't like the bedrock line, you should hear eenie meenie, miney mo lover song featuring the mature Justin Beiber.  Its fanFREAKINtastic. (as sang by the ten year old who apparently has a "lover" and is in the "club"...shout out social.)
24. Speaking of social, still crossing my fingers that she might give in and give me Tiny Bliss.  Then my family will be complete.
25. Hey.  People who get summer break.  Im PRAYING FOR RAIN.

 

samson and that one girl

by sassychick ~ My son and I just sat down to read a book which had the story of Samson and Delilah.  Of course Ive read this unique and extremely interesting story ALL MY LIFE.  I’m aware that there is a lesson in every story, but revelatory word, in this story?  I think God knows how to teach me.  Im simple and I love lessons to be illustrated.  So what does God often do, teach me through something intended for a child.  Go figure.  I had one particular crying episode during a veggietales episode called Snoodles Tale, I highly recommend it, it’s a lesson in self-worth –I apparently needed.  No kidding broke down, crying.  And I finally got it.  What my worth was.  And how it was not a measurement I could grasp.  It was heavenly mathematics.  I finally got it.  Through a 15 minute cartoon.

And then there’s today.  Samson and Delilah.  We all know the story.  The guy is strong.  The girl is relentless.  He fails.  She wins.  Strength gone.  Oh, but there’s so much more. 

We have all been granted gifts/talents/abilities.  These are God treasures for us and us alone.  They are one of the ways God makes us different.  Be it music, writing, singing, speaking, creating, on and on there are as many different ones as there are people.  One thing is certain.  We have all been given unique “strengths”.  Here is the problem.  Every day we will face Delilah.  She isn’t a person, necessarily.  Sometimes she is circumstance.  She is an event.  She is a job.  But she has a purpose.  She is relentless.  Her purpose is to discover our God given treasure “strength” and take it for her own benefit.  Rob us of God’s purpose.  Distract us from our intent here on earth.  She is satisfied even if she wins temporarily.  She is relentlessly pursuing a method of distraction of God’s people.  And for most of us, Delilah is accomplishing her mission.

I find it so interesting that some of our best accomplishments for God's kingdom can be so quickly overshadowed by distraction.  Be it in the form of conflict, offense, miscommunication, etc.   We tend to agonize over a man's opinion and miss God's loving words of what we are, can be, will be, were created to be.  We silence God's encouragement in an attempt to better hear man's rejection.

It wasn't about Samson losing his strength.  It was about him allowing himself to be derailed for God's unmistakable intent for his life.  Willingly.  What's ridiculous is there was NO mistaking what he had to do.  NOT CUT HIS HAIR.  It was also even more clear God's will for him.  Come on.  I'd give anything for it to be that cut and dry.

I do believe we all know our "strengths".  I don't believe God's intent is to keep that a secret from us.  So we know what we are working with, the next step is to identify what's robbing our "strength".  I don't believe God's intent is to keep THAT a secret either.  As with Samson, it was BLATANTLY obvious Delilah's scheme.  And he willingly submitted. 

Don't kid yourself, Delilahs are not always so easy to spot.  And they are even harder to resist.  The very reason God has set you apart will be used to make you question your effectiveness.  The unique way in which God created you to exist, your very personality, Delilah will twist into making you believe are liabilities.  Before long you will second guess you worth, the way in which you relate to others, and before long, you will indeed become ineffective.  Not because of who you are, but because you have willingly allowed the lie to rob your "strength".

I know I have, for too long, allowed this in my own life.  Perhaps my revelation can help you to get through your valley more quickly.

It's in Christ that we find out who we are and what we are living for. Long before we first heard of Christ and got our hopes up, he had his eye on us, had designs on us for glorious living. -Eph 1:11

the joys of growing up

by sassychick ~ My son has learned to whistle.  Yep.  Which would be one of those “milestones” I would happily embrace, right?  Well I’m darn close to taping his mouth shut. 

Whistling, constantly.  This has come on the heels of him perfecting the enunciation of the word supercalifragilisticexpialidocious which lasted until I had to pull the car over and explain what “over use of a word” was.  Im pretty sure I did a fist pump against the armrest.  Im human.  Deal with it.

I'm also pretty sure I need to hire a tutor.  Not because my children are not doing well, but because if I have to do another second of homework this might start sounding rational.  And Yes.  That wasn't rational.  Please send all hate mail to [email protected]

But can I just say what a lot of people are thinking, I didn't become a teacher for a reason.  Im not patient.  Im not nice when I have to instruct someone and they don't pick up on it after the tenth time Ive explained it. 

I don't understand how you can spell astronaut (yep, I used spell check on this word) correctly and get stumped on THE.  BTW, both my kids confuse THE and A.  Just sayin.  Frustrating.

I love my children and there are MANY things I will have to go over COUNTLESS times...LIKE saying yes mam...Which, might I had, I have seen a 3 year old say without having to be prompted EVERY SINGLE TIME. 

Parenting is difficult.  I think we try to be all positive about it, especially to new parents, because if we told the truth, we'd scare the crap out of them.  This is a subject where truth needs to come in SMALL DOSES.  Or there will be no more kids on earth.

Its NOT just 13 years of school then possible college...Its 13 plus 4 plus another 13 plus however long it takes that stinking last kid we had to get through school.  And I guarantee you'll at some point say, did we really need another kid???  We were victims of false advertising. 

And this is the real kicker. Shouldn't you be smarter as you've progressed?  Im pretty sure I wouldn't pass 3rd grade FCAT.  I think my kids "hero worship" of their parents subsided a bit when we took their math papers to the computer to look up the answers.  Or when we sent a corrected paper that we checked back to school and missed a few.  

NOTE: When the teacher says, "he did really well on that homework assignment, with the exception of a couple, smile, nod and say, he's doing better every day!" turn.  walk away quickly, lest she find out you insisted that was the correct answer.  And at one point said, "IM 30 Bray, I THINK I KNOW!" 

To Bray's teacher, who sometimes reads this blog, this was a "hypothetical situation".  Don't know ANYONE who has experienced this, personally.

not exactly sure why I'd post this

by sassychick ~ As the chicks know I have carried around a hideous drivers license picture for around 10 years.  This picture has haunted me, especially at work.  The day I came in for my first interview for my current job, my boss had it enlarged 8 x 10 and propped up on his desk.  I hardly made it through the interview because I had to will myself not to fly across the desk and snatch it down.  And this picture was accessible to EVERYONE I WORKED WITH.  Ill leave it at that.

I got crap about it at every turn.  I mean how hard is it to go get a new one?  Well not hard at all.  That is the depth of my laziness, by the way.  The boiling point.... my drivers license got hijacked and when I awoke on my 30th bday, facebook was plastered with THAT pic and happy birthday wishes.  ugh.

So, I believe it was socialchick that told me to post it, so, for the sake of a laugh here it is:

   

So shush it.  I did FINALLY get a new one, YAY me...and here it is:

 

guess what

by sassychick ~

  So I was wondering the other day.....

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Oh that's right.  Im still not pregnant.  I'll never get to put that cool pg test up on the blog.  Yeah I was feeling a little left out.  So here it is.  Officially. 

I love you social, baby, planner...super excited for you:)

sad to see it go. not.

by sassychick ~ This just in.  We're one day game away from the football season being over.  Woohoo.  And for those of you sad about that, let me put it in perspective for you..

Me - I think tonight is college and career.  I need to call socialchick.

Sassy Rooster - IT CANT BE!  There are two games tonight.  Two MAJOR SUPER HUGE GAMES.  These games can absolutely not be missed.  Who would plan college and career on a night we have two nfl games?  NONE OF THE MEN WILL BE GOING.  Call her.  Im sure it's not tonight.  Seriously.  Its the Colts, Jets, Vikings, Saints.  IT CAN'T BE TONIGHT.

Me - Good Lord. 

This is my life.  Every game.  ADIOS FOOTBALL!  There will be no tears falling from my eyes.

my vows

by sassychick ~ Valentine’s Day is right around the corner and it got me to thinking.  I recently heard the line, “Young love...full of promise, ignorant of reality.”  That made me laugh.  Because it’s true. 

Socialchick and I were at a wedding and we had a conversation about what wedding vows would be like if we could do them all over again, knowing what we know now.   Oh did we have some stuff.    So I thought I would use this time to share my new vows to my wonderful husband.  Oh how they have changed from 12 years ago.

I vow to never cut your throat when I fall into the toilet because the seat wasn’t let down.

I vow to still dig deep and try to feel pretty after the kids have thrown up on me.

I vow to cook dinner.  At least one night out of the week.  No promises on the weekend.

I vow to smile on night 435 of ball practice.  Even if I’m crying inside.  Because you love it.

I vow to care less that my car door is never opened for me, but smile because you bring all the groceries inside.  

I vow to remember that you put gas in my car and forget that you didn’t take out the trash.

I vow to trust you when you say I’m beautiful and not immediately scream, “YOU LIAR”.  Ever again.

I vow to get more excited about staying home for dinner, a movie and an early bedtime, than an exhausting night out.

I vow to show you immediately how grateful I am when I purchase a new pair of shoes, by remembering to throw an old pair out.  Starting next year.

I vow to accept that when you refer to me as a “re re” you are using it as a term of endearment.  Like when I call you “riDONKulous”.

I vow to repeat a question more than ten times until you find the will to answer.

I vow to take 5 deep breaths and calm myself when you drop me off at Crapmart and then I can’t get you to pick me back up.

I vow to remember that we went from young and dumb to old and, well less dumb, and you are still the one.

christmas wrapup

by sassychick ~  Most everyone knows that Christmas is my favorite. holiday. eva.  So I have been in the Christmas Spirit since, errr, well, November 1st - ish.  No disrespect to Thanksgiving, since EVERYONE thinks a holiday can have its feelings hurt, but Christmas is the HOLIDAY.  The sounds, the smells, the just, its awesome.  So this year was no different, except it's just getting busier during MY FAV TIME OF THE YEAR.  Which makes me a little crazy.  We did succeed in spending the entire week after Christmas hangin out and enjoying each other which was unbelievably wonderful.  Here are a few pictures from our Christmas: 

   

not even a power outage can stop it

by sassychick ~I was recently shopping in Crapmart and observed the CRAZIEST thing.  Right as I was finishing up checking out, the power to the entire building went out.  Oh yes.  The entire building.  Black dark. 

Kids were scared, my first thought was, we were being bombed, which I quickly reasoned was ridiculous given where we live and while it is true that the largest gathering of people in this area is at Crapmart, it still will be ineffective. 

The flood lights slowly came on, which was more of a candlelight given the vastness of the store.  Its still pretty dark.  People are getting a little anxious at the thought that the mega store might be unavailable for any length of time.  People are starting to get loud, the manager looks as if he is calculating the amount of money he might potentially lose in the 20-30 seconds Crapmart is dark except get this.....

THE REGISTERS STILL WORK.  Oh yes people.  I am not even kidding.  The store is BLACKED OUT and the cashiers do not miss a beat.  Its as if during training they told them, "In case of nuclear attack and the store is compromised, we will funnel all available power to the cash registers.  DO NOT PANIC and for God's sake people, DO NOT QUIT RINGING PEOPLE UP!"

This made me giggle so bad that I ALMOST didn't lose it when I arrived at the POWER SLIDING DOORS, which did not work, because there was NO POWER.  Oh yeah.  Then the sweet, little, retired lady that greets you looks at me and literally says, "Im sorry, they won't open!  I guess we're stuck." 

To which I reply, "Your stuck with a broken door and a great story for your grandkids if you don't let me and my kids out of this place immediately.  How about you funnel some of that cash register power to the ONLY ESCAPE ROUTE IN THIS PLACE.  Please."

so Lane totally turned 7

by sassychick ~ So, yes, Im still a chick.  I haven't been voted off the island, I still have a rose, and Im pretty sure no one's offically yanked my membership, yet.  I do believe there have been several secret votes.  I apparently still have an active alliance.

My son has turned 18 since we last spoke.  Well maybe it hasn't been THAT long, but there has been a birthday.  Lil LB turned 7 this month.  There were camp fires and marshmellows, cowboy boots and bandanas.  Too much fun.  Here are a couple of pictures.  Cake by singerchick, wonderful as always: