by socialchick~If you are a family member or a close friend do not read this because you are tired of hearing it. Ok to the rest of the readers I am pregnant (if you forgot) and let me say I'm feeling it very strongly! I have never been one who enjoyed being pregnant but this time around has been horrible and it has gotten worse the past week. I'm having severe burning in the right part of my chest which the doctor says is tendinitis, bad upper back pains, and now I have started having pain in my left inner thigh. I'm falling apart.
I know what you are thinking. She is a baby and needs to suck it up. Well I usually have a pretty good tolerance for pain but this is just miserable. Being pregnant with the third while taking care of a toddler and a 3 year old is for the birds. So much that I'm thinking about telling the doctor to tie my tubes so I never have to do it again.
Which leads me to my title. Why is it so hard to accept help from others? Yesterday Bossychick called and asked if I needed her to come and help me clean my house (because I was fussing about how bad it was). I said no but deep down I was crying yes. Than another friend called and asked if she could cook supper or keep the girls for me and once again I said no.
So why is accepting help like accepting defeat? I feel like people think she got her self into this so she needs to deal with it. Let me just say that I don't feel that way about other people and love to help when I am able to, so why do I feel like other people feel that way.
Last night I had a major breakdown and cried (which is very unusual for me) because Mr. Social came home and started cleaning up. I felt so guilty. I should be the one doing it. He told me on the phone yesterday to take it easy but deep down I didn't think he meant it. Call me emotional and I know he wouldn't of said it if he didn't mean it but why can't I just believe it and rest. Why do I think that he thinks I'm making it up? Why can't I accept help from my own husband?
I wasn't raised to not help people or not to accept help. I was raised by a pastor who always helps people. So what is wrong with me? I guess I don't want to take advantage of people or impose on them.
Do you feel like accepting help is defeat? How do you do with accepting help? What do you do to try to help people who won't accept it? Let me know your thoughts on the subject.
Love you bunches!! I am the same way. You know how overwelmed I get, but I would def not have a problem accepting help from my husband!!! I am always here if you want to vent. I don't have much time these days, but you can come over for a pedi maybe this wknd. My loved ones say I am pretty darn good at it;o)
Posted by: Amy | February 12, 2010 at 11:28 AM
FYI I love doing it so don't feel guilty;o) I don't want to play w/ your hair thoughLOL!
Posted by: Amy | February 12, 2010 at 11:30 AM
I was told once that by not accpeting the help of others can sometimes rob them of a blessing. you are a wonderful person who is always willing to help so let others help you. It can be a great blessing for them. see it that way they are not doing it out of pity, but out of love. you deserve it!
Posted by: a white | February 12, 2010 at 11:19 PM
When I was preggo just a few months ago I could NOT stand being on bed rest. It drove me crazy to have to sit still and rely on others to help me. Even after the baby was born, I felt guilty that I couldn't do everything on my own. Four months into this parenting thing, I have learned to accept help. My hubby, mother, and mother-in-law have really stepped up to help out. I even had a preggo friend who helped me out by keeping my baby when I had an emergency a few weeks ago. I don't know what I would have done if she hadn't. ;-)
Everyone needs help at some point in their life. There is no shame in taking help when people offer. I personally believe that it is also okay to ask for help when you need it. You will learn pretty fast if people are sincere or not about helping. God didn't tell us to love our neighbors so that we could turn our backs on them in their times of need!
Posted by: Lisa Taylor | February 13, 2010 at 12:23 AM
1- why didn't you say YES
2- I don't let guilt make any of my decisions, (minus the balloons after the spelling bee, lol)
3- I don't accept help very well either
asking for or needing help is NOT a sign of weakness, in fact I think it shows more strength to show ourselves to others when we are vunerable, its a "letting go" and its not easy, but I wouldn't have thought any less of you if you had said yes, everybody at some point or another needs help, and if they say they haven't then don't trust them as far as you can throw them, because they are lying, so next time take a deep breath and say YES, and then relax, lol
Posted by: bossychick | February 13, 2010 at 08:37 PM
trust me i know painnnn!
Posted by: danny scott | February 14, 2010 at 07:11 PM
We all deal with the same issues I think. Take the help!!!! You are always willing to help everyone else. So you know this in your head, it's the taking it to heart that is the hard part. Let me know when you figure out the trick. I need to know it too. :={
Posted by: photochick | February 14, 2010 at 11:17 PM
Like everyone else said, you do so much for others let them do it for you. Just be glad you have people that will offer to do these things.
Posted by: babychick | February 15, 2010 at 12:48 PM
I am terrible at accepting help too! good for you for putting this out there ... we should all be more aware in this community of women that we all need help sometimes even if we act like we don't :)
Posted by: Molly | February 19, 2010 at 09:22 AM