sevenchicks: america stinks

November 24, 2009

america stinks

by socialchick~ Don't throw your stones yet. I literally mean that the majority of people in America stink. Let me explain.

I have been to four concerts in the past two months. Every concert that I have went to I have sat in front of, behind, or next to someone who has stunk. They have either smelled sour, like they have been outside all day, or just a huge fart. Seriously people. I know that my nose may be a little sensitive right now, but a bath does a lot of good. So here is a little lesson in hygiene before a huge event with tons of people.

1. This one is a no brainer. Take a bath before you come. A little water and a little soap can go a long way. Just using water is not a bath!

2. Wash your hair! Natural grease does not look like fixed hair. It sinks and you smell like a wet dog!

3. USE DEODORANT! Your under arms are crying out from underneath the stench. It takes 2 seconds to apply it. Stop being lazy.

4. Wear clothes that have been washed and dried within the past month. I say dried because there is nothing like smelling a sour pair of clothes all night. If you want to be green then dry them outside!

5. A small dab of perfume or cologne is a good thing. Not a bottle of it. No one wants to sit next to a person who smells like they have been working the streets all night.

6. Make sure you keep good company. If you are with someone who stinks then help them out. Help them embrace the good smells of soap, shampoo, lotions, and perfumes. If the person you are with stinks then you might as well stink with them.

7. Last but not least. If you are feeling a little gassy then please let it out before entering into a building. If you feel the urge during the program or show then hold it until you get to the bathroom. Here is a small lesson in holding in your toots. Squeeze your butt cheeks tight and suck in. Believe me your neighbor will thank me!

Now you know how to smell good and look clean for all of your holiday events.

Posted by Kristen in giggle gal, gotta say it gal, socialchick | Permalink