bring on the chips and lack of attention

by Sassy Chick ~ Sitting in bed, with my wonderful husband.  He lets me use the remote control (or rather I tackled it away from him).  I’m flipping through abc, nbc, cbs…on and on and there it is.  Like a bad omen to what will be my demise. Preseason football.

And it begins.  Football Season.

I’m sure most of you can understand my despair over this time of our lives.  It happens every year.  I dread it from the beginning and then pray until it ends.  I can almost hear my husband saying as I fall to the floor pounding my fists against my head, “There’s only a few more games left.”  Well okie dokie, maybe we’ll get a chance to talk again in February.

I’m not one of those wives.  The kind that whines if her husband wants to hang out with friends or take some time out on the boat.  But this is different.  Football season is an all encompassing, mentally draining, husband stealing, tv hogging, irritating beyond belief period of time that unfortunately comes each and every year without fail, or at least until my husband’s unfortunate passing.  And trust me that’ll be the only time I get to choose what I want to watch during football season.

My husband suffers from footballitis.  The disease related to the consumption of to much football.  Want to go to the beach?  Can’t the Dolphins are playing.  Want to see a movie?  You know I can’t miss a Seminoles game.  Want to meet your children?  I’ll re-introduce myself to them right after the playoffs.

You’ve got to be kidding me.  I have, for several years now, tried to think of one thing that women do that remotely compares to this and THERE ISN’T ANYTHING.  We have nothing we are so obsessed with that we literally stop our lives and become completely fixated on something so trivial for months.  This one thing is responsible for taking my husband’s attention and owning his world for months.

Who really cares if the Seminoles win? Yeah I said it.  I’m a fan, but you know what, I’ve spent my entire life rooting for a team that’s brought me joy for like 10 minutes out of 28 years.  That’s the ten minutes in 1993 right before they went right back to what they are best at, choking.  Has my life been any worse because my team sucks?  Don’t think so.  They don’t care about me, so I stopped caring about them.  All that’s got me is a lot less stress and a crap load more free time to do things that actually bring satisfaction.

Here’s an idea.  Pick up a book.  Better yet, TALK TO YOU WIFE.  She’s the one sitting right beside you.  You may not recognize her covered in all that dust. 

Comments

[baby chick]

i know exactly what you are talking about!
worst time of year :(

[photochick]

i am too fortunate that the hubby's obsession is basketball, not football, and i like it as much as he does!

we were just talking this weekend about the fact that the season is just around the corner and punkin needs some new red and white outfits to wear!

basketball and shopping. hmmmm . . . it doesn't get any better than that.

[jennifer]

Funny, try being a daughter to a football coach. If my father had a choice I would have been a boy born onto the field in October (smack down in the middle of football season). He forgets my birthday every year, made sure that my wedding(s) were in off - season, and I timed it right to make sure my children were born during that time as well. Feb. during weight training, May when school is out before two a days. For coaches there is a small window which starts well before, and ends way after. Now my husband is guest coaching now with him. Not to mention, fantasy football. Ugh. There is this cute door pillow that my step mom hangs every year "We interrupt this marriage to bring you football sleeping". Hang in there chicks.

[jennifer]

Funny, try being a daughter to a football coach. If my father had a choice I would have been a boy born onto the field in October (smack down in the middle of football season). He forgets my birthday every year, made sure that my wedding(s) were in off - season, and I timed it right to make sure my children were born during that time as well. Feb. during weight training, May when school is out before two a days. For coaches there is a small window which starts well before, and ends way after. Now my husband is guest coaching now with him. Not to mention, fantasy football. Ugh. There is this cute door pillow that my step mom hangs every year "We interrupt this marriage to bring you football sleeping". Hang in there chicks.