by socialchick~If you are a family member or a close friend do not read this because you are tired of hearing it. Ok to the rest of the readers I am pregnant (if you forgot) and let me say I'm feeling it very strongly! I have never been one who enjoyed being pregnant but this time around has been horrible and it has gotten worse the past week. I'm having severe burning in the right part of my chest which the doctor says is tendinitis, bad upper back pains, and now I have started having pain in my left inner thigh. I'm falling apart.
I know what you are thinking. She is a baby and needs to suck it up. Well I usually have a pretty good tolerance for pain but this is just miserable. Being pregnant with the third while taking care of a toddler and a 3 year old is for the birds. So much that I'm thinking about telling the doctor to tie my tubes so I never have to do it again.
Which leads me to my title. Why is it so hard to accept help from others? Yesterday Bossychick called and asked if I needed her to come and help me clean my house (because I was fussing about how bad it was). I said no but deep down I was crying yes. Than another friend called and asked if she could cook supper or keep the girls for me and once again I said no.
So why is accepting help like accepting defeat? I feel like people think she got her self into this so she needs to deal with it. Let me just say that I don't feel that way about other people and love to help when I am able to, so why do I feel like other people feel that way.
Last night I had a major breakdown and cried (which is very unusual for me) because Mr. Social came home and started cleaning up. I felt so guilty. I should be the one doing it. He told me on the phone yesterday to take it easy but deep down I didn't think he meant it. Call me emotional and I know he wouldn't of said it if he didn't mean it but why can't I just believe it and rest. Why do I think that he thinks I'm making it up? Why can't I accept help from my own husband?
I wasn't raised to not help people or not to accept help. I was raised by a pastor who always helps people. So what is wrong with me? I guess I don't want to take advantage of people or impose on them.
Do you feel like accepting help is defeat? How do you do with accepting help? What do you do to try to help people who won't accept it? Let me know your thoughts on the subject.